Beauty is truth, truth beauty. A paper on love.

Hey Everyone
Today, I'm gonna write about love.

Love?

Is it still as a lake?
or Wild as a sea?
Is it the heat?
or is it the calm?

Well, Love is love.
One doesn't understand it. One doesn't like it. One doesn't know shit about love. Yet one craves for it till they die.

Cheers! To you if you have found that person you love. You might probably know what I am talking about. But, For those who haven't, might wanna know that when they find love, they will realize they always had it yet never sensed it.


I'll tell you the regular tale of falling in love.
You meet that person. One person. It has to be a random person. Even better, if it turns out to be someone you could never think of!
Next, You like them. LIKE, my friends, LIKE them! Like to the point that everything they so is wonderful!
They have the deepest eyes, So deep that you may become a poet watching them.
The beautiful hair, the loveliest skin, the best jawline.
The cutest smile, when they speak, it's a garden they create for they only speak flowers.
They are who you waited for all your life.
Then You kiss.
And have sex one day, this is the day you let them in your life. And now they are THE ONE.

And This is love.
Right -;-

You see, how much sense it made. Yes. Put your breakup and patch-up romance in my vocab, and that is what it sounds like!
But hey!
one is supposed to be really... really happy in love. But stories like this, usually end up in passion and aggression and hatred ultimately

Feeling lost? This is what one has been thinking all their life, and One's belief can't be just broken like that.
You might wanna read a lil' further.

Well,
Love is Love.
It doesn't have to be a LIKE! that is, it is not someone you LIKE!
It consists of all the grays from liking to disliking, even hating. You cherish their fines and you try to improve them and adjust with their flaws.
I don't wanna sound like a romantic author. So, I would better put it simply. I really wanna tell you the truth rather than writing romantic words which would please you. I really don't like pleasing people.
Here we go.

You meet that person, It has to be someone you have known forever. No, not the one who gives you the feeling of being known forever. But, someone who you really have known for a good amount of time.
Next, You don't like them. Love isn't about liking. It is about accepting. You need to accept and live with what they don't have. It is about finding what they don't have. I'm not talking sexually please xD.
They do not have those beautiful eyes. But yes, you can manage to stare deep in their eyes. The depth is in how you know their pains and yet they look pretty good sometimes. That is what is meant by having deep eyes. Eyes are Eyes.
When they smile, it's not cute. It is weird. Their laugh is really funny and not sexy. But they are someone who really gets you, so whenever you crack a joke, and it's not nice, they will laugh. They know where you are coming from, and this makes that weirdest laughter cute. That is why one day you love lauging with them. Isn't it beautiful?
Trust me folks! every laughing sound is weird. listen to yours if you wanna test.
When they speak, it's not gonna be always nice. They will speak things you don't agree upon. They will stand up to it, and they're gunna stand against you too one day. You wont like it, rest assured their words won't be like flowers. But they will be beautiful. Why? They are honest words. The only beauty they have is that what is being said, Exists. The only beauty this earth has, is that it exists. Isn't it?
So, when this person tells you that they love you. THEY LOVE YOU.

I see people falling in love, as if love is a pit human race is destined to fall in.
But Human race is a beautiful race because there is no measure of beauty.
We are Black, white, brown, pale, freckled,  and what not.
Yet, everyone has someone, who is the most beautiful for them.
Beauty suddenly sounds like a relative concept to me.
Why?
Beauty is how that person makes you feel. This depends more on their behavior and inner self than on the color of their skin. The width of their shoulders. The size they have. And certainly not on their dressing sense,
The creepiest guy you knew in high school, might be loved by someone too.

Love is the only beauty.

Finding my Passion through NVC

Put in a sinkhole, man gets time to think.

Allot of times, it happened so, that I was put to think. Think allot. 

About life. 

I hail from Jaipur. 

I have studied Humanities stream in class 12th. 

Psychology, I used to say, was my passion. 

Was it my passion?

or 

Is it a subject?

or 

Can a subject be my passion?

Well,

For when I was 16 year old, I was told, follow what you love to do, not in the utmost peaceful way, I had to fight for the philosophy.

I did win it, but with the victory came, a sense of attachment to the goal I had earned. I must not do something that I liked, instead, I had to do something that I loved. So, I felt passionate about. You know, Like blood gushing through your veins sort of passion. Yes. That I am talking about. 

My area for exploring passions was however, limited to school studies. So, To pick up my passion from a bowl of strategies, I picked up Psychology. And I maintained the loyalty in this passionate relationship. 

I scored a perfect 100, in 12th boards.

Got myself admitted to the best college for Psychology in India. 

I was in the city I desired.

Everything was pretty much perfect. 

But then. 

Something stirred within. Maybe an island broke. 

I couldn't find that subject of any interest to me anymore. :( 

Well, No. I am not saying that the teachers were not upto the mark. They are awesome! They are fabulous people. Everyone other than me, was content.I couldn't find peace. 

I had to drop college. 

My persons would still tell me that I was good at the basic understanding of human beings behavior. I felt good. The battle just wont stop. The battle within  me. That I must follow my passion. The passion, had surely, become a burden. 

Why?

I was given the answer not until I bumped into the practice of Non-Violent Communication. 

So, I was super free with my schedule, so my super cute aunt suggested me how about I attend Shammi's NVC workshop. I really wanted to get out of home and seek something. I thought it was worth a try. And Boy was it worth!

NVC is basically, from my understanding, a form of communication where we try to understand the beautiful need behind those harsh words and immoral actions which otherwise would have triggered us, and made us behave irrationally. NVC essentially works on the principles of strategy and need. It says, Hold your needs Tightly and your Strategies lightly. For example, in my situation, (And this is the big revelation this whole post is about, So yeah,) It was my important need to remain in peace with my inner being and to create harmony in the outer world.
I noticed how I was always keen on both, interpersonal and intrapersonal aspect of my life. I wanted a Utopian dream world where there is complete understanding. This is what I've been looking for. And isn't it beautiful? Maybe now you can relate to me, because even you have felt the beautiful need to remain at peace. This understanding which you are offering me right now, is Empathy. And Empathy heals. Trust me it does. That one time when my friend put the hand on mys hsoulder and I said, I know what you're dealing with, and I felt okay the next moment. It was magic.
Coming back, Thus I realized that my Need was Harmony, and I, at 16, thought Psychology- which is one strategy to achieve harmony. IS THE ONLY WAY, TO FULFILL IT.
I will make a model here for better understanding. 

What could possibly be other strategies to achieve harmony other than psychology for me? This is how my thinking pattern works now. 

I have been to Vipassana Meditation 10 day camp, which helped me in tons to achieve harmony. I never wrote a post about it, but I feel motivated as with that, as I write I'll be spreading harmony. Another Core Value! 

Another strategy for achieving harmony? 

Well, My relationships. I have best friends. I do not have acquaintances. When I love, I love deeply. This gives me peace. 

To put it in perspective, 

I would say, I, as a human being who values harmony the most in life, will do about anything to achieve it. If any venture I do, which is some or the other way related to harmony, I will be very much attracted to it, and will do it with Passion. 

Yes, Achieving harmony was really my passion. (There is never one passion friend, so to say)

Yes, I do regret I wasted another year of my life. But, Did I waste it? 

THE APPLE WAY

So, I was reading Steve Jobs and Found this! A must know. So Steve wasn't about doing things himself. He would rather find the best man to that thing. For marketing, after rejecting many, He got John Sculley. A man who gave apple to the world. He marketed it. 

THE APPLE MARKETING PHILOSOPHY

1. EMPATHY

Understand the needs of your customer, their feelings about your product. You should know what motivates them.

2. FOCUS
In order to do a good job for the thing that is important to us. We must remove all the distractions and FOCUS. This will bring in the magic.


3. IMPUTE
People DO judge a book by its cover. We may have the best product, the best design, the highest quality, the best software etc. But if we present them in a slipshod manner, they will be perceived as slipshod. But If we present them in a creative manner, we will IMPUTE the desired qualities.

The blessing you need

Do you exist or you don't

Do you know when I moaned

Do you know I was hurt 

Did that sound made a leaf flutter?

Am I your child,

Or Am I just a passer by?

Do I have some worth?

Will you answer this night?

God won't tell you

for he doesn't exist

Only actions would make a difference

If you do them in good will.

To let your minds understand

ages ago a god was built

who would hold you together 

symbolizing goodwill.

The God is a Good

Any good in fact

Would you please let your intentions

be in tact 

reacting to the vibrations of the world

They will get you peace

Love and some joy. 

They would make you breathe

the blessing you need. 

Free Love

Dear Diary,

what's wrong with me? Why can I not bear love? Anything which goes close to love, I am repulsed by it. I can not understand this.

So, I call up my best friend.

A few days ago, I had a chat with few of my friends, and I asked them,'Do you know any 40+ person who is still happy with their life?'
One said, No. The other two said,"Yes!". I was amazed. Can that really happen? "How?" Was my immediate question.

Not going into the process, The conclusion, I would share, was that, all these people who actually were happy after 40, had a co-existence of both freedom and love.

The sole reason of unhappiness is the presence of them in a proportion that you do not like. Kathy, A girl who wants romantic love, but also wants a guy who isn't possessive at all. Miya, A wife who loves her husband, but also wants to maintain good terms with her male friends from college but this makes her husband insecure.
In both the cases, there are two situations, which are hard to co-exist.

So, It is this situation, one needs to understand what do they want, and strike the right balance.

As far as I'm concerned. I'm a women of independent disposition. I do not like it when my male friends insist on carrying my bags, or offering me a seat in metro while they chose to stand. It makes me feel as if I'm weak. I hate that feeling.
This weird drive for independence has its roots engraved in my childhood, which my best friend helped me uncover. My parents gave me allot of freedom when I was really small. They let me play for as long as I wanted. Mother and dad, Both were busy with their jobs. I grew up in the care of my grandma, a very liberal women, who lets you do whatever makes you feel happy. And Thus, I developed as a child who could do whatever she loved doing. By the time I became a teen, their both, personal and professional life got sorted and they were paying attention to me. This was new, strange and I started to miss my freedom, and then this whole new journey to find the long lost freedom started when I was around ten year old.
Thus, I became a seeker for relationships which though promised to give me love, but a sense of no control over me too. Therefore, I always had 3-4 best friends running together. They were jealous of each others importance, This was similar to cheat in a relationship. But, As I always resorted to the policy of honesty, They all knew about each other. And, Now I realize, It was nothing but free love. When It came to dating, I was never comfortable dating guys who wanted all my time. I wanted their attention, but I liked the struggle to get it, I wanted free love. Which is not-so-much famous, a concept. I hated the possession. It was like the same possession, which my parents took over me while I approached teens.
Therefore, for anybody, who wanted to love me. I left them. This understanding of free love came when I dated the Mr. Wrong. He claimed to love me, but never really did. I was a rebound to him. This gave me that freedom, Just the same freedom I had in childhood. The same freedom, my fake friends had given me. I got terribly confused, and concluded I am not capable of love.
Finally, the sad past got away completely, and this understanding dawned upon.

Love without ties, it is hard to exist. But, It exists for me. My love is like that.

My current best friend and I, we share that space. She lets me do whatever I want, and I am not putting any bounds on her either. We are cool.
Talking to her, I realized, That is where my weirdness springs from.

Thank you buddy. This understanding, has resolved so many doubts for me.

                               

On Being Different

"Being different, is not about being special, it is about being alone." Said ShahRukh Khan, I heard him saying this on some award show. It had a passing influence on me. I even wrote the saying as thought of the day on the class board. Well, I never knew, It was one of the things my life wanted to teach me.

Many people have called me different, I never accepted it. But, Now, That I do accept it, I feel alone. To find the truth of my being, I must accept myself. I can not run away from the person that I am. I have to leave inhibitions, and come out in the open for who I am.
Maybe, to live in this society, I will have to hide my some truth. But, I still have to be aware about them, and act accordingly. (I am not talking about my sexuality, as some of you might think. I'm straight.)

So, In this process, as time passed, All assumed to be important relations, the ones I created since my childhood other than my family have lost their depth.

The truth that I have come to know about human nature is that, in general, Love is about give and take. Till you party with your friends and give them a good time, you are a good friend. The moment, you can no more party, you do not become a bad friend, but a no-friend. Your family loves you till you adhere to its values, the moment you feel like discovering your own set of principles, you lose it. Maybe, some of you would be lucky to have a family that gives you that space, but not-so is the case for me.

Today, I'm writing this, as I have lost the last old friend I had. She is an amazing human being, but like everyone, It's her life, and maybe life now doesn't want me besides her to find her path. She shall search it herself.

The only difference between family love and friendship love is that family love has to take care for you. It's a law. Maximum people will follow it. Whereas, In friendship love or even, romantic love, You won't be given the care. It depends on the person. Maximum people won't. This has now given me the understanding of the family institution. Family is not about happiness, but it is a need. A basic human need. That's about it.

I'm now learning to stay alone and seek my path of life. Yes, Maybe I'll create family too. But, for me, everything has to go through a deeper understanding, unlike others.

No Offence. xD

Mistakes!
Are a part of life. It is how you grow.

As a teenager, I am never afraid to make mistakes. I Love them. I cry. I laugh. Sometimes, I appear bipolar, But I love the things they teach me. They help me grow. I have a first hand experience of everything I talk. And today, I wanna talk about Parenting.

WHAT IS IDEAL?

My parents have raised me in a very contrary manner. I was always given The freedom to think but not the freedom to act. I was told to think whatever I can and discus it with them so that they can monitor where I went wrong. But, hey! I am a kid and I can break rules. They forgot that. I won't say there parenting was bad. Had it been bad I wouldn't have had the guts to write this out here. I wouldn't have been this independent. They are amazing parents, and I love them.

So, Here are few things that I want to share.

1. Communication. My dad taught me the value of communication. He said It was very important to be transparent, and honest. I learnt them. But I was that smart ass kid.
So, Being in this position, I would like to tell the parents reading this post one thing which is very important is to be yourself honest with your children and with that, you need to grow with them in their time too. I'll put it rather simply. Suppose, children talk to you about their sex life or about their romantic relationships at the age which you would think it is weird. It is not. The correct age for a mind to learn is when it is exposed to it. otherwise, the curiosity would keep developing and explode one day, probably in wrong hands. So, If you expect them to be Honest with their curiosities, give them that space. So, to deal with this situation ideally tell them what you are really afraid of. Your anger and hatred towards them won't change anything. It will distance your relationship. It's not your anger, but your love that will bring a change. Your love is not your restrictions, it is your support. Support in the times you're hurt by their behavior. That is maturity. You are big guy fellas!
Being honest about your own life experiences is way better than just telling them what to do and how to do. This was you'll be your child's best friend.

2. Sex Education. In this generation, the easiest way to learn about sex is porn. 80% kids have said that it was their first source, and they have watched it between the ages of 8-16. That is how they got introduced. We are the pioneers for this, and that's why this age kids are so messed up. Internet has exposed them to literally EVERYTHING. How do you parents plan to keep us protected from this? The first option that occurs to a parents mind is to put parental controls on the internet. Uh, No. That is sick. Kids have friends. Parental control will simply sound like *we don't approve of it* and nothing like *this will harm you kid, don't do this to yourself.* That would come only if you calm his/her curiosities by actually talking to them. Parents, A 12 year old would definitely listen to you than a pornstar. So, Being Honest about sex is also Important.


3. Friends, When you know that some friend is a bad influence on them. what do you plan to do?
Step 1: Tell your kid to unfriend them.
Yes, They'll do that. But only on facebook. The one friend you think is a bad influence, is actually that one friend who is calming all his/her curiosities. A best friend to a young teen is not someone, who will be their for him/her all their life, it is someone who knows more about things he/she is curious about. If you Follow the rule 1 i,e, communication, you can gauge his/her curiosity and be that friend. Their are kids who say my mom is my best friend, and those are really cool kids only if their moms are cool, otherwise, if you become that mom, and aren't cool. You kid becomes a boo.

4. Freedom.
I've seen 3 types of parenting--

TYPE A- No freedom of though. NO freedom of action

TYPE B - Full freedom of thought. NO freedom of action.

Type C-  Full freedom of thought. Full freedom of action


.

SO, I feel That none is the best way to parent. But, Over experience, as a child myself, I feel, that the mistakes are a part of life. Be it, Type A, Type B or Type C, We're human, We're gunna make mistakes. Your parenting is not about making a kid perfect. It is about being a parent. I define a parent as figure who will be there, no matter what I do, No matter how bad I become, They will be there to heal me. To let me know that we're there for you. My parents are there for me, I hope.

My grandmother, Dadi, as I call her, has always been there for my aunts. They both are just like me, I mean really cool and mischievous :P . I love their independence and the way they deal with life. Bad times come and go. Parents always stay. My dadi has shown me that.

TO all parents, Just like a kid, a parent also makes mistakes. All I want to say is, Just maintain the relationship, and everything would be awesome. :)